Theodore Roosevelt put it best when he said: ”No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”
Showing people that you care is critical whether you are trying to get new customers, empower your team, get a new job, or strengthen personal relationships. The question then becomes: Are you spending more time telling people what you know, or are you spending more time getting to know people?
Here’s one way to stand out from the crowd and get on people’s good side:
Know What’s Important to People
One of the biggest ways you can show people that you care is by demonstrating that you remember what they said and are in tune with what’s of interest and importance to them.
This may sound good, but let’s get real. Do you really know what’s most important to the people you’re trying to “get on the good side” of? Take a minute and write down the names of 5 people you most want to influence this week (Yes, they can be in your personal or professional life). Now ask yourself: On a scale of 1-10, how much do you really know about what this person cares about NOW (as opposed to what they might have cared about years or months ago)? Specifically, what do you know about them? What don’t you know about them? Based on what they’ve already told you, what would you like to know more about?
Action Steps:
For the people you’ve rated 7 or below, ask yourself: “How do I get to know this person better?” Then, write down specific questions you can ask them this week, or specific things they’ve mentioned in the past, which you’d like more information about. If you’re noticing a pattern in which you don’t know much about anyone, then, what you need to work on this week is your active listening skills. The next time you talk to someone, pretend you are an investigative reporter and “get the story” on the person. In order to do this you have to be actively listening to what they’re saying, as opposed to concentrating on your response to what they’re saying. Get them to keep talking by saying such things as “tell me more” and asking questions about “what happened, where it happened, when it happened, why it happened, how it happened, and who was there when it happened.” Then, at the end of the conversation, ask yourself: What is the main thing I discovered? This will help you focus on what was most important and retain what you learned, so you can bring it up in subsequent conversations.
For the people you’ve rated an 8 or above, the question changes from “How do I get to know them” to “How do I show them that I care?” One of the best ways to show you care is by following up with them on something they had previously mentioned RECENTLY. Maybe it’s their daughter’s b-day, their golf tournament, their parking situation, or a cause they care about. Please keep in mind that what you’re following-up with them about may have absolutely NOTHING to do with getting whatever you want from them. Instead, the whole point is following-up with them to build a relationship and show them that you care about what’s important to them. If you notice that it’s difficult for you to talk about things unreleated to what you want, that’s a great thing to notice! When you’re uncomfortable, you’re growing, so keep it up. Think about it this way: What’s more important: You feeling comfortable or you building and sustaining a great relationship with this person? Choose wisely:)
As always, Feel free to let me know how it goes.
To your career and leadership success!
Jos
Tags: Action, Career, Leadership, Success, Transition
